junk mail, scams and gorgeous girls

junk mail, scams and gorgeous girls

herself and myself were having one of our “rest” periods, a break. in other words ... i must have said something...ummm...tactless, stupid, hurtful.

i spent 36 years of my life happily married to a male of the species ... he had to deal with me, my ups, my downs, my moods, indeed the fact that i am woman. i must admit, i never really appreciated his balance, his innate ability to “fix” things, his patience. nope took the whole lot for granted!
what am i trying to say ...living with a woman ain't easy!
i thought it would be a walk in the park. two loving, sensitive women (and dare i mention the word...mature) involved in a transatlantic relationship. what could possibly go wrong , hah...the innocence of the uninformed.

i digress, back to the subject of this blog.
yeah ... rest period, which would mean....
“eryll, you can go to hell, i never want to lay eyes on you again, you are the most self unaware person i have EVER met, you are self centred, spoiled and selfish and don't bother to answer this email because i have blocked you!!!” omg how i love that woman...
so i would feel righteous and huffy for all of say ...24 to 36 hours and then i would retire to my computer to write of my broken heart, my agony, my loss...
when i ran out of words, i would resort to trawling various lesbian dating sites, my two favourites being ... match.com and pink sofa.

and then i came across, let's call her sofia... her photo was, beautiful, she looked like a film star and she had winked at me, she wanted to chat! i decided that being dumped and single was not all bad, beautiful girls were chasing my rather wrinkled “middle aged” self. we chatted, she liked my look, she had grown up in france and was now a model in london, sofia wanted my name, my address, my everything. now i may be gullible but i am not an innocent, sofia was too good to be true and i don't give out my personal information to strangers. even i realized ... sofia might be a man, a naughty school child, a con artist. so, i high tailed it out of the chat room and that was that, except for the fact that sofia had my real, actual email address. sucker!

i started to experience “the nigerian scam”, government officials from african countries begged me to allow them to deposit huge amounts of money in my bank account. dear old, titled ladies, dying of cancer, with no kin to leave their fortune to... begged me to accept their monies...they trusted that i would distribute above mentioned funds to worthy causes. I have won so many lotteries, i have lost count, yahoo and microsoft contact me to inform me that today is my lucky day, their computers have chosen me and i am rich. my favourite by far is paypal asking me to confirm a payment, that one looks so official i almost forgot that i don't have a paypal account. oh yes, the bait was sweet but the hook is painful! but was that the end of my naivety, i guess not.

my lady is a writer and she travels no where without her lap top, said computer is so well used that numbers and letters have worn away. this aged lap top, this faithful companion... is tired. herself would very much like a new computer but unfortunately she finds herself with more pressing demands on her purse. the purchase of a new computer becomes a pretty low priority. so there i was wandering around cyber space when .... up popped a sign... you have won a laptop, press here to choose which of the three you would prefer. yeah, i know, big time sucker! these scams use our own greed against us and i was greedy to present my lady love with a new computer. what harm is there any way, in pressing a few buttons, answering a few questions ... well worth a bash in pursuit of a free laptop. well, i kept answering questions and pushing the “next” button until i finally realized i had not won, there was no prize ...sigh. “no such thing as a free lunch, nothing for nothing” the words of my youth mocked me. now, it appears the whole world owns my email address! no need for me to buy expensive american drugs, the canadian pharmacy will supply all i need. would i like a bigger cock, longer lasting erections, large breasts. the emails pile themselves into my inbox, pretending to be from private people and reputable businesses. i am told i must need pirating equipment, fake rolex watches, a get rich quick idea, the list is endless. an unstoppable avalanche, between 50 and 100 a day!

a word from the recently wiser, avoid good looking women and free gifts. the way to hell is paved with unsolicited emails.