sometimes love is not enough

sometimes love is not enough

my muse no longer finds me amusing...
and i quote ... "you are a hook in my flesh"

i am deeply influenced by the experiences of my childhood and the essential wisdom of my parents. in our home there was a small carved plaque which read ... "never give up, God is faithful". i believe in pursuing my dreams, in fighting for what i believe in, i believe in love and forgiveness and doing my best. i believe in courage and conviction, in honour and truth.
it is now time to admit the absolute truth to myself ... i believe when two people find one another, when they chance across a soul mate and fall in love ...
i believe they should live together, in order to cherish and sustain life's most precious commodity, love.
it is time to call "time".
time to admit to myself and the world that i have pursued this dream for long enough. time to admit that love is not always enough and that it is perfectly possible to love someone and yet make that person thoroughly miserable.

and so ... i offer my love, my muse, an irish blessing...
and a letter from our past...

An Old Irish Blessing
"May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand."
Anon

the small things

it is in the small things that i find you unforgettable. the soft sigh which escapes your throat as you settle back on your bed, this almost soundless sigh, travels the wire strung across the sea bed, crosses the atlantic and comes to my ear. and i am able to see you, to smell you almost reach out and touch you.

i love your chuckle, the rising peal of your laughter, assuring me that you enjoy my company, my conversation and my wit. i love to listen to the presence of your voice, i feed off the loving empathy delivered in your inimitable bronx accent.

i would never have imagined ... making love to a small italian/american, naked but for her bed socks. socks and sex... no way ... in you my darling they spell unforgettable. the wonderful sight of your seriously naked arse, jitterbugging up the stairs before me ... the stuff of dreams.

sitting in your car, always the driven, never the driver ... reaching out to touch your leg, hearing the pleasure in the sharp intake of your breath. you reaching across and kissing me, with meaning, right there at the stoplights, in front of the world. proud to love me, proud to be my lover.

the little pizza restaurant, you and i at a plastic table, with paper plates and plastic forks. coke in a bottle with a straw, diet for my darling. delicious melt in the mouth pizza, oil from melted cheese running down our chins. followed by those delicious little deep fried dough balls, drowned in icing sugar. you would always ask for extra icing, sticky fingered, icing sugar everywhere. sharing.

i could write forever, i probably will, because you are ingrained in my heart and soul. you will always be with me in the small things. we may no longer be promised to one another, we may consider ourselves free....free to move on, to try again, to hope for more. but i will never be free because in you i discovered a magnificence, the wonder of my woman,you are simply irreplaceable sweetheart.

All materials Copyright © 2004-2007 by Eryll Oellermann